Currently the scale at home does not like me... It errors out when I try to weigh myself. I comfort myself by saying, "not for long!!"
So to find out if/how well the first week of pre-op has gone, I had to go to my doctor's office to get weighed. I stopped by Monday morning after work and got it over with.
These 2 numbers were magic to my nerves. 13 pounds. I have lost 13 pounds the first week of pre-op! WOW!!
I don't expect it to be that much for the second week, but that number alone gives me encouragement to stay the course when things are getting rough. So far, I have not had any major temptation. There has been some, thankfully not during times when I could do anything about it.
I have been craving healthy food, eggs, ham sandwiches... steamed veggies. Ok... Chick-fil-a was in my brain the other day. I know, not healthy in the slightest, but so YUMMY!
Tonight will be a test. My team at work is receiving pizza for a job well done this week... during our team meeting. So, I have decided to have a protein drink prepared and take it in with me... also steer clear of the pizza table. Right now, I really want to chew on something.
Hmmm. Maybe a sugar-free popcycle will do the trick.
Sorry for the short entry, but that's all I have for now.
I am currently less than 6 days from Surgery. Yes, I'm getting a little bit nervous.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Pre-op day 3-6
I did quite a bit of research about this phase of the prep work and everyone I heard from said that days 1-3 were the hardest. Many spoke about just how difficult they were.
As of my last post, I had not yet hit day 3. I was surprised to find that the first three days were not that difficult at all, not in the grand scheme of things - heck, not in the major scheme of things. They were an inconvenience, and adjustment. Frankly I was surprised how well they went by.
For me, day 4 was the worst. That was the day when I was craving good food - Nice ham sandwich, steamed broccoli... several things really. I celebrated by getting a spicy soup and eating just the broth. I think I was going nuts on just sweet flavors. That's ok. Now I know how to deal with that.
The last 2 days have been pretty good. I'm getting all 4 drinks per day. I found a new flavor to try - cookies and creme powder by the good folks at Muscle Milk.
I have also spent the last 2 days helping clean stuff up at home and do a complete move of stuff from one room to another. It kept me busy and just doing life.
I don't know how much I am losing if any... but I am in ketosis. My breath is really starting to smell bad. I think I might buy stock in Listerine - their breath strips are saving me!
So let's talk about where I am mentally.
I'm doing pretty well. The reality of this is starting to set in. I'm not at the "What am I doing..." stage. I'm in the middle. I'm starting to prep some information for loved ones if something happens and I don't make it through surgery. I know that there is a lot, and I would hate for my decision to cause them to scramble through everything and try to figure out what it is that I have, where it is, and who I owe.
It's an interesting kind of reality check. It's also nice to have this stuff organized for future... because who really knows when their time is...
On the good side, I feel happy, well, even tempered. I have energy, and I feel ready to take on the next chapter of my life.
Today I'm craving sausage and eggs. I really want some breakfast food.
Instead I drank a strawberry protein drink and gave a nod to the fridge on my way past. :) It felt good to be able to acknowledge the craving without giving in.
I know that new habits are formed in 21 days. For me, having 2 weeks before surgery and the time after surgery to cleanse old habits is going to be a good thing. I'm excited for the new eating habits.
OH! speaking of which, I found the CUTEST baking pan at Walmart. It is tiny loaf pan. about 1/4c capacity, rectangular. Perfect for mini whatever (I'm thinking meatloaf... once I get to that stage.) but anything goes in there.
I've also been saving the veggies from the soup I'm eating. I'm turning them into mush, putting them in ice cube trays and freezing them. That way I have something prepared when I get to that point.
I want to succeed! I figure the best way to do that is to go out, do what I do and keep my diet restrictions in mind. I don't want those around me to think they can't eat in front of me. It's not torture. I may want some, but the smells have been enough for now. My goal is too big for those little details to get in my way.
Is it all easy? No. I have to say not. The other day, I had to leave the house because they were about to kick up dust. While I was out, food was calling my name. not just any call, a siren's call.
I got what I needed and went home. That was hard. It would have been so easy to go through Arbys and get the roast beef (which is exactly what I wanted...) and get back on track. I reminded myself of what I am trying to do, and if I do break the diet, I put my goal in jeopardy. I'm not willing to do it. That being said, I think this is very worth it and I'm excited to see the new me.
As of my last post, I had not yet hit day 3. I was surprised to find that the first three days were not that difficult at all, not in the grand scheme of things - heck, not in the major scheme of things. They were an inconvenience, and adjustment. Frankly I was surprised how well they went by.
For me, day 4 was the worst. That was the day when I was craving good food - Nice ham sandwich, steamed broccoli... several things really. I celebrated by getting a spicy soup and eating just the broth. I think I was going nuts on just sweet flavors. That's ok. Now I know how to deal with that.
The last 2 days have been pretty good. I'm getting all 4 drinks per day. I found a new flavor to try - cookies and creme powder by the good folks at Muscle Milk.
I have also spent the last 2 days helping clean stuff up at home and do a complete move of stuff from one room to another. It kept me busy and just doing life.
I don't know how much I am losing if any... but I am in ketosis. My breath is really starting to smell bad. I think I might buy stock in Listerine - their breath strips are saving me!
So let's talk about where I am mentally.
I'm doing pretty well. The reality of this is starting to set in. I'm not at the "What am I doing..." stage. I'm in the middle. I'm starting to prep some information for loved ones if something happens and I don't make it through surgery. I know that there is a lot, and I would hate for my decision to cause them to scramble through everything and try to figure out what it is that I have, where it is, and who I owe.
It's an interesting kind of reality check. It's also nice to have this stuff organized for future... because who really knows when their time is...
On the good side, I feel happy, well, even tempered. I have energy, and I feel ready to take on the next chapter of my life.
Today I'm craving sausage and eggs. I really want some breakfast food.
Instead I drank a strawberry protein drink and gave a nod to the fridge on my way past. :) It felt good to be able to acknowledge the craving without giving in.
I know that new habits are formed in 21 days. For me, having 2 weeks before surgery and the time after surgery to cleanse old habits is going to be a good thing. I'm excited for the new eating habits.
OH! speaking of which, I found the CUTEST baking pan at Walmart. It is tiny loaf pan. about 1/4c capacity, rectangular. Perfect for mini whatever (I'm thinking meatloaf... once I get to that stage.) but anything goes in there.
I've also been saving the veggies from the soup I'm eating. I'm turning them into mush, putting them in ice cube trays and freezing them. That way I have something prepared when I get to that point.
I want to succeed! I figure the best way to do that is to go out, do what I do and keep my diet restrictions in mind. I don't want those around me to think they can't eat in front of me. It's not torture. I may want some, but the smells have been enough for now. My goal is too big for those little details to get in my way.
Is it all easy? No. I have to say not. The other day, I had to leave the house because they were about to kick up dust. While I was out, food was calling my name. not just any call, a siren's call.
I got what I needed and went home. That was hard. It would have been so easy to go through Arbys and get the roast beef (which is exactly what I wanted...) and get back on track. I reminded myself of what I am trying to do, and if I do break the diet, I put my goal in jeopardy. I'm not willing to do it. That being said, I think this is very worth it and I'm excited to see the new me.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Prep: The Liquid Diet
**Disclaimer**
If you are about to undergo this kind of surgery, please don't take the plan I have been given as gospel. This is what my doctor has prescribed for my specific medical condition. There are many ways to prep for this surgery. Please listen to your Surgeon about what plan they wish for you to follow.
Two days ago, I started my liquid diet.
This diet consists of 4 protein shakes daily, broth, water, zero calorie drinks, no sugar jello... nothing carbonated, no caffeine...
This is quite the shock to any system, and I knew I would need some time to adjust. I prepared by purchasing trial packs of protein drinks from a few different distributors and have been trying them out.
I started a day early just to get the cheating out of my system. Turns out that was a good idea. about 6 hours into the day, I got the strongest craving for McDonald's hash browns. It stuck for the next 4 hours. So yes, I caved! I bought 2 of those bad boys, and chowed down! One would have been enough. Since I work the night shift, I sleep during the day. In the middle of my sleep time, I woke up to my car alarm going off. I got up, turned it off (still 3/4 asleep) and then felt hungry... grabbed some pepperoni from the fridge... ate it in quick fashion. Took two steps and realized that I was not supposed to be eating at all!
So, pre day 1, blown.
That's ok. It was good to get it out of my system.
Day one: tried a Chike protein shakes... could barely finish them (all 8 oz of it). YUCK! I did not like that at all. Tried a second one, different flavor - YUCK! Same nasty aftertaste. Hoped that the other brands out there will not be as bad.
Day two: woke up with a headache, pretty strong one. Drank water, had a shake from my stash at home (Walmart brand) and it was fine. not exciting but fine. Worked with my father on stuff at home, then fell back asleep. My alarm did not go off - oh boy... hurry, pack, run out the door. Packed shakes from a different company, UnJury, MUCH better! This is smooth, no aftertaste... very yummy. In fact I was not able to get lunch at the right time, so I used my orange flavored water in a chocolate shake. YUM. very nice. I'll be purchasing this when I get home!
I have continued drinking lots of water, and feel pretty good. I expected to be grumpy. I'm not. (at least not today)
I am not bothered by people eating around me. So far, food commercials are not bothering me. tomorrow my team is having a meeting with food... that might be somewhat bothersome, but keeping my goal in front of me will help. It's about getting healthy. It's about making changes that need to be made. It's about following my path, not the path others try to decide for me.
I hear day 3 is the worst. I'll let you know...
If you are about to undergo this kind of surgery, please don't take the plan I have been given as gospel. This is what my doctor has prescribed for my specific medical condition. There are many ways to prep for this surgery. Please listen to your Surgeon about what plan they wish for you to follow.
Two days ago, I started my liquid diet.
This diet consists of 4 protein shakes daily, broth, water, zero calorie drinks, no sugar jello... nothing carbonated, no caffeine...
This is quite the shock to any system, and I knew I would need some time to adjust. I prepared by purchasing trial packs of protein drinks from a few different distributors and have been trying them out.
I started a day early just to get the cheating out of my system. Turns out that was a good idea. about 6 hours into the day, I got the strongest craving for McDonald's hash browns. It stuck for the next 4 hours. So yes, I caved! I bought 2 of those bad boys, and chowed down! One would have been enough. Since I work the night shift, I sleep during the day. In the middle of my sleep time, I woke up to my car alarm going off. I got up, turned it off (still 3/4 asleep) and then felt hungry... grabbed some pepperoni from the fridge... ate it in quick fashion. Took two steps and realized that I was not supposed to be eating at all!
So, pre day 1, blown.
That's ok. It was good to get it out of my system.
Day one: tried a Chike protein shakes... could barely finish them (all 8 oz of it). YUCK! I did not like that at all. Tried a second one, different flavor - YUCK! Same nasty aftertaste. Hoped that the other brands out there will not be as bad.
Day two: woke up with a headache, pretty strong one. Drank water, had a shake from my stash at home (Walmart brand) and it was fine. not exciting but fine. Worked with my father on stuff at home, then fell back asleep. My alarm did not go off - oh boy... hurry, pack, run out the door. Packed shakes from a different company, UnJury, MUCH better! This is smooth, no aftertaste... very yummy. In fact I was not able to get lunch at the right time, so I used my orange flavored water in a chocolate shake. YUM. very nice. I'll be purchasing this when I get home!
I have continued drinking lots of water, and feel pretty good. I expected to be grumpy. I'm not. (at least not today)
I am not bothered by people eating around me. So far, food commercials are not bothering me. tomorrow my team is having a meeting with food... that might be somewhat bothersome, but keeping my goal in front of me will help. It's about getting healthy. It's about making changes that need to be made. It's about following my path, not the path others try to decide for me.
I hear day 3 is the worst. I'll let you know...
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Grieving...
I simply mentioned that I had spent part of the last month saying goodbye to food.
The follow up to that (not so) simple statement was that I WAS NOT saying goodbye to food forever... that the attitude I was displaying would become a roadblock to my future success.
I really wish he'd asked what I meant.
What I meant is that I knew that my eating habits are going to be different, and I was taking my time to say goodbye to some very old, close companions.
Almost 2 years ago, I moved from Austin, Texas back to Phoenix, Arizona. It is too small a thing to say that I LOVE Austin. My life changed there, and it is the first town where I have ever felt at home. I did not want to move back... not really, but it became necessary. I found that I was going through a grieving process about a place. That process took time.
I expect there will be similar things with food, though in many ways this might be more difficult because I will constantly be inundated with the wrong kinds of food - and pressure to eat it - for the rest of my life.
So, how do you begin to say goodbye?
When I was in Austin, I spent several weekends going around taking photos of things and places that either grabbed my attention or had memories attached to them. I have made a poster of my photos that I hang in my room.
Over the past month, I have been deliberately taking my time savoring one last time with xxxx thing. Soda, ice cream, Peanut Butter cups, french fries... Etc.
So, in that process, I have gained 2 pounds over the past 6 weeks.
Honestly, that does not break my heart. not one single bit. This makes it MY CHOICE to let go. I get to say goodbye MY WAY. If this whole thing is about me and for me - why should my way of doing that be any different? What I need to remember is that after surgery, I will still grieve. I will remember the wonderful salty goodness of french fries... and other things will come back. It's even ok to remember them fondly and even feel sad. But that's it. I can always go back to Austin. I really can't return to those things. Going forward, protein intake will be the most important part of my daily diet.
I know how I did with the other. I will have to look back on this and remember that it is ok to be where I am. That this is a process that I will have ups and downs. I hope I do remember this.
Please remind me, when I forget...
The follow up to that (not so) simple statement was that I WAS NOT saying goodbye to food forever... that the attitude I was displaying would become a roadblock to my future success.
I really wish he'd asked what I meant.
What I meant is that I knew that my eating habits are going to be different, and I was taking my time to say goodbye to some very old, close companions.
Almost 2 years ago, I moved from Austin, Texas back to Phoenix, Arizona. It is too small a thing to say that I LOVE Austin. My life changed there, and it is the first town where I have ever felt at home. I did not want to move back... not really, but it became necessary. I found that I was going through a grieving process about a place. That process took time.
I expect there will be similar things with food, though in many ways this might be more difficult because I will constantly be inundated with the wrong kinds of food - and pressure to eat it - for the rest of my life.
So, how do you begin to say goodbye?
When I was in Austin, I spent several weekends going around taking photos of things and places that either grabbed my attention or had memories attached to them. I have made a poster of my photos that I hang in my room.
Over the past month, I have been deliberately taking my time savoring one last time with xxxx thing. Soda, ice cream, Peanut Butter cups, french fries... Etc.
So, in that process, I have gained 2 pounds over the past 6 weeks.
Honestly, that does not break my heart. not one single bit. This makes it MY CHOICE to let go. I get to say goodbye MY WAY. If this whole thing is about me and for me - why should my way of doing that be any different? What I need to remember is that after surgery, I will still grieve. I will remember the wonderful salty goodness of french fries... and other things will come back. It's even ok to remember them fondly and even feel sad. But that's it. I can always go back to Austin. I really can't return to those things. Going forward, protein intake will be the most important part of my daily diet.
I know how I did with the other. I will have to look back on this and remember that it is ok to be where I am. That this is a process that I will have ups and downs. I hope I do remember this.
Please remind me, when I forget...
Approval, test follow ups and pre-Op Diet
Good (early) morning!
In my neck of the woods, it's 4am. That is quite early to most, even to me, however I am up and it is time to update.
My previous post mentioned testing that I was going through. I'm happy to say that all results are in, the only thing they found that I was not aware of was that my thyroid is slow. My EKG is normal, my ultrasound and x-rays are clear, my blood work is all in good range. My cholesterol is a decent number, but high in the part that references fat content in the body -- and per my doctor, this will work itself out as I lose the weight.
I took all this information to my Primary Care Doctor on the 25th in hopes of getting her approval for surgery. She was my last hurdle to getting scheduled. She approved with no reservations.
I have been scheduled for surgery March 26th at noon.
This means I start my pre-op diet on Monday the 11th.
My pre-op diet is clear liquids and protein shakes. Dear reader, if you have done any research on this surgery you will find that different doctors recommend varying things before surgery. Honestly, that does not bother me. My doctor gave me the specifics on why he recommends as he does and it makes perfect sense to me.
The surgery is laproscopic, and they have to move the liver aside to do their work properly. The pre-op diet I have been prescribed is specifically to remove fat content from the liver and allow it to firm up a bit. This also brings the side effect of starting weight loss now. Another side effect is horribly bad breath. I have been told that in some cases it can bring a man to his knees. Looks like I'll be investing in breath strips... anyone know a good stock broker? ;)
Here are the specifics of my pre-op diet:
4 protein shakes per day - >200 cal with <20g protein and >5g sugars per serving.
as many sugar free clear drinks as I can stand -
No caffeine, no carbonated beverages
Broth - chicken, beef, veggie... etc - clear, no veggies or meat.
sugar free jello
frozen sugar free ices and pops (for crunch value, which becomes important)
Apparently the first 3 days are a pain in the a**, but after that, it's not so bad. I'll let you know after Thursday. I'd hoped that I would be able to start that diet during my days off so that I am not dealing with customers while my body thinks it is starving, but it is what it is and I have informed the people I work with and for. So that is settled.
If all goes well, I'll leave the hospital on the 27th and head home for my recoup time. I expect to take 2 weeks off work.
Thankfully I have been able to save 2 weeks of vacation time and even have some left over as well.
What are my current concerns?
Several.
1. Realistically, there is a small chance I won't make it out of this. I am working to put a packet together of everything my loved ones will need so that it will make a difficult time a little easier.
2. That I will cheat on the pre-op diet and ruin the surgery. I'm doing everything I can to leave reminders around so that I maintain focus on the final goal.
3. That I will not lose the weight (not a very large concern... but it is there). Since this is such a drastic move, and my medical care givers feel I'm an excellent candidate for this the concern is limited...
4. A silly concern, but there none the less... Clothing. I've made some plans on how to deal with the clothing issues, but there are things I can't purchase until I need them. I do have a plan to wear skirts and take in the waistbands as I shrink. That will help with cost. I don't have many pants left at this stage, so this should be relatively easy once I shrink out of the jeans I currently have.
5. I'm concerned about the complications. Not overly concerned... but again, it's there.
Mostly, I'm looking ahead.
I look forward to chasing down my friend's kids.
To wearing clothes that flatter my body.
To having much more energy!
To dressing up for Halloween ...
To playing in the park with my dog.
To taking walks around the block and riding a bike.
To be able to climb up so that I can get the shot (photography) that I see in my head rather than settling with what I can get to.
SO much about life that I want to do...
Until next time.
In my neck of the woods, it's 4am. That is quite early to most, even to me, however I am up and it is time to update.
My previous post mentioned testing that I was going through. I'm happy to say that all results are in, the only thing they found that I was not aware of was that my thyroid is slow. My EKG is normal, my ultrasound and x-rays are clear, my blood work is all in good range. My cholesterol is a decent number, but high in the part that references fat content in the body -- and per my doctor, this will work itself out as I lose the weight.
I took all this information to my Primary Care Doctor on the 25th in hopes of getting her approval for surgery. She was my last hurdle to getting scheduled. She approved with no reservations.
I have been scheduled for surgery March 26th at noon.
This means I start my pre-op diet on Monday the 11th.
My pre-op diet is clear liquids and protein shakes. Dear reader, if you have done any research on this surgery you will find that different doctors recommend varying things before surgery. Honestly, that does not bother me. My doctor gave me the specifics on why he recommends as he does and it makes perfect sense to me.
The surgery is laproscopic, and they have to move the liver aside to do their work properly. The pre-op diet I have been prescribed is specifically to remove fat content from the liver and allow it to firm up a bit. This also brings the side effect of starting weight loss now. Another side effect is horribly bad breath. I have been told that in some cases it can bring a man to his knees. Looks like I'll be investing in breath strips... anyone know a good stock broker? ;)
Here are the specifics of my pre-op diet:
4 protein shakes per day - >200 cal with <20g protein and >5g sugars per serving.
as many sugar free clear drinks as I can stand -
No caffeine, no carbonated beverages
Broth - chicken, beef, veggie... etc - clear, no veggies or meat.
sugar free jello
frozen sugar free ices and pops (for crunch value, which becomes important)
Apparently the first 3 days are a pain in the a**, but after that, it's not so bad. I'll let you know after Thursday. I'd hoped that I would be able to start that diet during my days off so that I am not dealing with customers while my body thinks it is starving, but it is what it is and I have informed the people I work with and for. So that is settled.
If all goes well, I'll leave the hospital on the 27th and head home for my recoup time. I expect to take 2 weeks off work.
Thankfully I have been able to save 2 weeks of vacation time and even have some left over as well.
What are my current concerns?
Several.
1. Realistically, there is a small chance I won't make it out of this. I am working to put a packet together of everything my loved ones will need so that it will make a difficult time a little easier.
2. That I will cheat on the pre-op diet and ruin the surgery. I'm doing everything I can to leave reminders around so that I maintain focus on the final goal.
3. That I will not lose the weight (not a very large concern... but it is there). Since this is such a drastic move, and my medical care givers feel I'm an excellent candidate for this the concern is limited...
4. A silly concern, but there none the less... Clothing. I've made some plans on how to deal with the clothing issues, but there are things I can't purchase until I need them. I do have a plan to wear skirts and take in the waistbands as I shrink. That will help with cost. I don't have many pants left at this stage, so this should be relatively easy once I shrink out of the jeans I currently have.
5. I'm concerned about the complications. Not overly concerned... but again, it's there.
Mostly, I'm looking ahead.
I look forward to chasing down my friend's kids.
To wearing clothes that flatter my body.
To having much more energy!
To dressing up for Halloween ...
To playing in the park with my dog.
To taking walks around the block and riding a bike.
To be able to climb up so that I can get the shot (photography) that I see in my head rather than settling with what I can get to.
SO much about life that I want to do...
Until next time.
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